


The Dark Path

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Ben’s Story [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Backstory, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Seduction to the Dark Side, The Dark Side of the Force, Young Ben Solo, Young Poe Dameron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben Solo’s always struggled with the Dark Side. Now comes the time where it consumes him.





	The Dark Path

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For MidgardianNerd, because we both needed it. Figured that I’d go a little differently by focusing on Ben’s nineteenth year, a.k.a. the year I headcanon he fell to the Dark Side.

In terms of Ben Solo’s life so far, turning nineteen was big news. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t know that it was eventually coming, but it was enough to hit him right in the chest with the sheer force of it. Nineteen. He wasn’t a child anymore, but he was far from an adult. No longer a boy, not yet a man. It was enough to make him realize that he was on his way to adulthood and there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

He sat on his favorite spot on the hill, where he would cloudwatch with Poe, and watched the clouds. He could swear that he could see a krayt dragon up in one of them, an X-wing in another. He smiled, if faintly — it reminded him almost of Poe, he supposed. Flying among the clouds, unencumbered, unchained, cool. 

“Hey.” Poe Dameron, twenty-two years old, sat next to him comfortably. “You okay?”

Ben smiled faintly. “A little nervous.”

”What, about turning nineteen?” Poe smiled. “Look at it this way, Ben — you’re not a kid anymore.”

”That’s the problem.” Ben turned over on his side to look at Poe; at least he got a nice view of Poe’s face. Handsome would honestly be selling Poe short; he was beautiful, what with his curly black hair and his bright brown eyes. He had to envy Poe; at twenty-two, Poe seemed so comfortable in his own skin. Ben could only wish he felt comfortable there. 

“Well, true,” Poe said. “But you definitely have a lot more freedom this way.”

”Yeah.” Then again, freedom under his uncle’s watch was one of those things that seemed ever-elusive. 

“It was pretty scary for me too, turning nineteen,” Poe said. “So...I feel it too.”

Ben smiled. “Thanks.” 

He turned back over on his back, looking up at the sky. It looked so vast up there, like Ben could fall into its depths any moment. Poe’s hand brushed his shoulder, and Ben’s heart fluttered, though not unpleasantly. Poe then reached over. “You’ve kind of got grass on you.”

Ben’s skin...it suddenly seemed to prickle with excitement. It seemed that Ben was already getting more sensitive to these things the older he got. His heart fluttering, his skin prickling, just at Poe’s touch. Even as Poe plucked off the grass lightly from his shoulder, his heart fluttered. It was one of those instances where he really did want Poe not to stop. 

“There’s something up there,” Poe murmured even as they looked up at the clouds. “Looks a bit like a TIE fighter, that cloud...”

”Does it?” Ben said. “I guess it does.” The clouds above really were interesting shapes. They had to go in later, but Ben could at least appreciate the moment when they were just counting clouds together. 

***

The celebration itself was actually quite fun. Different presents from different people, special Yavin IV cake that Kes Dameron made based on a recipe that his late wife Shara Bey had made for Poe’s Naming Days, and plenty more. Kes took time to bring up, lightly, that Ben wasn’t quite the small, skinny, nervous child that had first come to Yavin. “You’ve sprouted,” he said, ruffling Ben’s hair, much to Ben’s (affectionate) exasperation. 

Ben supposed that was an upside. Poe wouldn’t think of him as a child anymore. It had occurred to Ben that Poe wouldn’t think of him as a child, but a man — or at least old enough to be taken seriously. It was all well and good, especially considering that Ben had loved Poe since he was only a boy, and maybe...

Maybe Poe could love him back, if Ben ever got the courage to tell him the truth. 

***

Going back to the hut was pretty lonely after the celebration. After all this, all of it, Ben was left alone with his thoughts, and the nightmares that plagued him during the night. 

Ben’s hut was serviceable, if relatively simple. A bed, a calligraphy set that he’d gotten from his father the year he took up calligraphy, and more. Still, it wasn’t easy sleeping alone, especially with the nightmares that filled his head. 

Ben prepared for bed before getting into bed and taking out his datapad. Still, even the glow of the screen didn’t prevent him from falling asleep, dreaming of flaming trees and violence and his sanctuary being all but disrupted, TIE fighter clouds turning to genuine TIE fighters —

Ben snapped awake, and he could only hope that they were just dreams. 


End file.
